The List: What is your dream job, and why?

I would say that I have a couple dream jobs, so to narrow it down to one would be rough. 


Dream Job # 1


Open my own Not-For-Profit Agency that specializes in Autism and Down Syndrome. There is nothing that specifically works with these diagnosis in Topeka. I would love to bring the Down Syndrome Guild to Topeka and open a branch as well as an Autism focused agency. There would be so many families that would benefit from such services. I am ONE of TWO providers in Shawnee County for in home intensive work with a child with Autism. Only approximately 45 kids 3-5 years old get services through the Autism Waiver and there are HUNDREDS on a waiting list hoping to get on the waiver before they age out at 5. This isn't fair to the families or the children who need the services.  I can go on to list facts of how many are affected by Autism and Down Syndrome but the truth is, the families that need services are lacking providers to give them the services needed.


Dream Job #2


I would love to have my own Photography Business. Yes, I am slowly getting started but I would love to do it full time. I love capturing the special moments and sharing them with others. I think my favorite things to take pictures of are children and families. To think about living in a time where pictures weren't even an option is just weird to me. I couldn't imagine not having those treasures. 


I can list a handful of other things that sound fun and I would love to do for a living but these are my main two.

The List: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

Well there are few things that rank up there as my hardest experience. However the first thing that comes to mind is losing my Great Grandmother. She was the rock of our family. This year marks 10 years since she was here with us. Lena Florine Butterfield was one of the strongest persons I ever knew. She was not only our family's matriarch but she was involved with the community. At 84 years old she was still very much involved until that unfortunate day she had a heart attack. It was the last week of February 2002, she underwent a six bypass surgery which she never really woke up from. They had to open her back up two more times after surgery due to internal bleeding which caused further infection leaving her in a comatose state. For the next 6 weeks we would watch her body shut down and her organs fail while she laid in ICU. Because her living will papers were not complete before the heart attack, the medical staff had to keep trying everything to keep her living even though that was not her wishes. They had her on dialysis, inserted a trach tube to help her breathe, and all sorts of wires. I remember sleeping in the waiting room a couple of nights while we were all up there. She lost her battle on April 1, 2002 after being taken off all of the wires and tubes. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. To this day, I miss her. Our family sure is not the same as what it was when she was with us.

The List: What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

I can say that I am a generally happy person (or so I believe) and so however lots of things make me happy but here is a list of only 5 things.

1. My Friends and Family, they are who have made me who I am today. Good or Bad that doesn't change. Some of them have been around my whole 26 years and some only a few but no matter how long they have helped shape me and opened my eyes to things I otherwise would have overlooked. I dont feel the need to list names because I know that you know who you are.

2. Researching my family history. I am truly addicted to it. I am so facinated by all the new information I find. I had no idea what I was getting into. Before I started I did not know my Great Grandparents names on my Dad's side or where that side of my family came from. I had never seen a picture of my Great Grandparents, nor heard any stories of them.

3. Photography. I love taking pictures of anything and everything. I love documenting important events and the not so important events. Babies, Children, Families, Seniors, Engagements, Weddings, BBQ's, Just Cause, Flowers, Animals, Buildings, Birthdays and everything else in-between.

4. Reading. I love to read however dont make enough time to do so sometimes. I am currently reading Running With Scissors-Augusten Burroughs. I have a whole stack of books waiting to be read and I continue to buy more books in the meantime. I love Nicholas Sparks and Jodi Picoult!

5. My Job. I can honestly say I love my job. Working with my Little Dude is amazing, especially when you see him overcome something or finish a task for the first time. He keeps me on my toes and we are always on the go. Dont get me wrong we do have our down days that are full of struggles but his amazing laugh and punctual personality keeps me going back. You never know whats going to come out of his mouth next and he is absolutely amazing.

The List: List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

Dear 16 year old Me:

1. This is going to be the roughest year of your life. A lot is going to happen and you aren't going to know how to deal with it all. You are stronger than all of the challenges, keep your head up.

2. Quit doubting yourself. You know more than you think. Apply yourself accordingly.

3. Swallow your pride and admit when you need help. Its ok that you struggle with some of your classes, but you still need to pass them.

4. Stay home every now and then. See your family instead of your friends. Soon your family will change and these times will be greatly missed.

5. You are beautiful. Smile more.

6. Read more, write more, listen more.

7. Your Mom is not trying to make your life hell. She loves you more than you know and only wants the best for you. Listen to her every now and then, she does know what she's talking about.

8. Stop caring what others think. Do what you love and don't hesitate.

9. Start thinking about the future. You will go to college and have no idea what you are going to do. Its ok. College is going to be a challenge that you aren't prepared for. Get ready.

10. Slow down and breathe. Enjoy being 16 and realize that you have it good right now.

Sincerely,
Your 26 year old self.

The List: Describe your relationship with your parents

Well where to start.

I am an only child so my relationship with my parents was pretty close growing up and more so now. As a child I think I was probably an easy kid for them and the older I got the more difficult. I knew that I could go to them for just about anything and they were always there to support me.

As for my relationship with my Dad, I would say that we are close. He's not always my first choice of someone to talk to but he's always there and I know he always will be. Growing up I was a tom-boy we have several pictures of me on a tractor or backhoe in the yard with him. In fact I was with him helping fence a cow pasture when I broke my arm when I was 3. I was very much "Daddy's Little Girl" I learned quickly if I wanted something all I had to do was bat my eyes and say "I love you Daddy" and I would get it. My Dad has been through more than I can imagine. He is a Viet Nam Army Veteran. He was drafted and immediately sent to boot camp at the age of 18. He saw things I can never imagine and was almost killed. He was blown off a tank, broke multiple bones in his body and has shrapnel under his skin to this day. He was one of my softball coaches growing up, he'd play catch in the yard with me, attended important events and made sure I was ok. As I grew older, the more I was gone, I realized that I need to make time for my Dad. He and I dont always see eye to eye but he's a great man that I am very thankful is my Dad.

 

My relationship with my Mom. Growing up my Mom was everything. Through my teen years our relationship was rough but we made it. I wasn't a bad kid, I am just exactly a younger version of my Mom which caused lots of fighting. I was never "grounded" All my Mom had to do to put me in my place was growl. Not just any growl but a low deep toned growl that to this day can put me in my place. Typically teens are "ashamed" of their parents, but my Mom worked at my high school and ALL of my friends knew who she was. I did not find this to be a bad thing except when my teachers would talk to her before I got to their class so I could prepare for the talk my Mom was going to give me, such as when I failed a math test. My Mom threatened to make my life miserable and the threat alone was enough for me.  The saying "Hell has no fury as a Mother's scorn"  was in regards to my Mom. My Mom would check out boyfriends and find out what they were about without me knowing. All those times that I just knew my Mom was wrong, turns out she was right. Through those teen years I said I didn't want to grow up to be like her but when someone tells me I am just like her I take it as a compliment because there is no-one else I would rather be like. 

I can never repay my parents for everything they have given me. 

They are the most wonderful people I know.

The List: 3 Legitimate Fears

 Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.


1. Tornadoes, I have no idea how it became a fear or even when. For as long as I can remember I have been terrified of tornadoes. If I had to guess where it comes from it was passed on to me from my Mom. My Mom is also terrified of tornadoes. When I was little my Mom would send me to the basement to sit on a bench and sit when there was a real threat of needing to be in the basement. (remember from my last post where I refer to the basement being a creepy place) When I find out that there is a chance of tornadoes I start to panic, especially if I am not at home. If I am not at home the panic is more intense than it would be if I were at home. Growing up and even in recent years I would pack bags, yes bag(S), of items I don't want to lose if a tornado hits. Now most of these items are in a storage tub in the basement. These items are mostly pictures, yearbooks, photos from over the years, photos of my grandparents, and other items that can not be replaced. I need to make copies of some of these items so I can actually hang the pictures on my walls or show them to people.

2. Spiders, they are just plain creepy. I don't know when or how but I am terrified of these eight-legged things that I don't see have a purpose in the world. No matter the size, big or small they are terrifying. The one that I am certain one day will kill me is the one that drops down from my visor in the car as I am driving. This has happened to me multiple times and each time it happens I go cross eyed and can only think about the spider, not driving and I panic because I don't want to touch it but if I don't smash it between my hands it will be on my lap or worse my face. If there is one in my house (which I know there are I just refuse to think about it) and I try to kill it and it runs under the couch or bed or behind something, I have to find it and make sure it dies. I can not assume that I got it until I see it curled up.

3. Unknown- I have the fear of the unknown. I can get caught up in all of the "what-ifs" and "if-only's" It doesn't consume me, I am not always thinking about it all but when I do its a downward spiral. Its easy to say "dont worry about it, theres nothing we can do to change it" but I worry that I missed something that I could have changed. What could I have done differently, how could I have helped. This is where I have the best husband in the world and will speak sense to me. 

The List: Random 20

Random 20 facts about myself (Sarah)

1. I love books. Books of all kinds. I dream of having a library room in my house one day. I dont know where the fascination comes from but as long as I can remember I have always loved going to a book store or the library. Seeing a book fair sign still excites me. When I see a child/person tear a page of a book my heart aches. Its silly but true.

2.  The house I grew up in was built approximately in the 1850's. My Great-Great Grandparents purchased the house in the early 1920's and it was already about 70 years old. It has a dirt basement that is creepier than all get out. It has square nails.

3. I am a night owl. I would rather sleep in and stay up late. And most importantly first thing in the morning do not approach me with a chipper cheery attitude and expect anything in return more than a grumble.

4. I am prone to injury. Most of my major injuries that I can remember were freak accidents and probably couldn't happen twice if I wanted them to.  I broke my arm when I was 3 by slipping in cow poop. I was put in a neck brace in 5th grade because a kid wanted my seat on the bus and pulled my arm and something in my neck popped. I woke up the next day and couldn't move my head. In 8th grade I fell ice skating and tried to catch myself and ended up stabbing myself in my rear which resulted in 15 stitches because the 2 inch blade went in at a 6 inch diagonal ripping my muscles.

5. I love traveling. I would travel all the time if I had the time and money. My dream trip would be to go to France, Italy, Spain, Ireland, Switzerland, Sweden, Holland, Germany, Greece, Denmark, Iceland, Greenland....the list goes on. I want to see the castles and the places where lots of our families originated from.

6. I am addicted to Ancestry.com. I am also addicted to Who Do You Think You Are. I wish I were a celebrity that had all the money to travel to all the places to get documents and see where my ancestors lived. I have learned so much about my family that I never even imagined, not to mention the photos that I have found in my search.

7. When I was little I lived in a swimsuit with a built in inner-tube in the summertime because if you turned your back on me I was in the pool or lake or whatever body of water we were near.  My mom first dropped me under water when I was 10 months old by blowing in my face.

8. I have 3 tattoos. I love tattoos and want to get more but they have to have meaning to me.

9. I love to journal and by journal I do not mean on here I mean in an actual journal. I love writing in general. I find journaling very therapeutic.

10. Justin and I have been together for 7 years. We got married on our 5 year anniversary exactly. We met online, very randomly but I wouldn't trade anything. Our first face to face meeting with each other went awful.

11. I can play 2 instruments. The violin and the tuba.

12. I grew up in my Great Great Grandparents house, next door was my Great Grandparents house; my Great Grandma lived there until she passed when I was 16 and next to her house was my Grandparents house. It is weird to me to that some families go long periods of time without seeing each other. Family was constantly around as I grew up. My cousins were the siblings I never had biologically.

13. I love taking drives. Growing up my parents and I would get in the car and just go drive around in the middle of nowhere. I think this is where my love of road trips comes from. I would much rather take the back road somewhere than take the easiest route just to see what we can see.

14. I love sporting events. I love all things baseball/softball, soccer, hockey, basketball, football, swimming, volleyball... I would rather be at the event than watching it on TV but watching it on TV is second best.

15. I make lists. I put things on lists just so I can cross them off and feel better about something.

16. I am a naturally messy person and I hate it. I tend to clutter and not know what to do with it and it gets moved from space to space to space before I realize what to do with it or that I don't need it.

17. I believe in ghosts. I believe that my parents house is haunted and have experienced things that I believe happened by such. When I was younger there was a music box that belonged to my GG Grandma and it would turn on by itself in the middle of the night. There are noises of someone going up and down the stairs (and no Im not talking light noises, Im talking heavy footsteps. unmistakeable footsteps) While renovating the house not too long ago I heard a man yelling, I thought it was my Dad yelling, I was on a ladder and my head was above the rafters in the room. I quickly came down from the ladder and asked Mom if Dad was ok, Dad was standing around the corner and was just fine and was not yelling. My Dad and Justin can smell certain smells that my Mom and I can't smell such as a woman's perfume. My Mom and I can smell things that Dad and Justin can't smell like cinnamon and foul odors. I believe in ghosts. (ask me about it sometime :) )

18. I want to open my own not for profit agency that specializes in helping families with children with special needs. I know Topeka has TARC but I want to specialize in focusing on Autism and Down Syndrome. In specific I would love to bring the DSG to Topeka and start an Autism focused agency since Topeka does not have anything of the sort. So many families would benefit.

19. I love to take pictures. I know it annoys some people when someone is constantly carrying a camera but I cherish documenting life's events. Pictures are things we can't replace years down the road.

20. My first time snow skiing I took out a fence. I was with my youth group in Winter Park, Co. parts of my group told me I would be fine if I stuck with them but failed to tell me to V my skis to go slower and to zig zag down the hill. As I quickly approached the orange fence at the bottom I tucked and rolled. Most of my youth group witnessed this event.

The List

Ok so a friend posted this on her blog and I loved it so I will do this too. And instead of doing it all at once, I will do one a day.


THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

March Is Here

I felt an update was needed. Not a whole lot going on in our world.

I am still loving my job with my little dude. He keeps me on my toes. I've spent the past 3 weeks traveling back and forth from Topeka to KC for a training at KU Med in the Kansas Center for Autism Research and Training Center. It was really awesome to observe different ways to work with kids. I was able to learn lots and bring some new ideas back to my little dude but I am so happy to be done driving back and forth.

Last weekend we traveled to KC to eat with Justin's parents and Caleb and Haylie. We always enjoy spending time with them, however not often enough. After dinner we all ventured to Tailgaters for karaoke. Caleb knocked the bar out with singing I believe in a thing called love-The Darkness (as always) and also I will always love you-Whitney Houston which he got a standing ovation for. Justin sang Stacked Actors-Foo Fighters and then of course "The Villains"  sang Bohemian Rhapsody.

This weekend we will head back to KC for Brooke's wedding reception. I dont know about Justin but I am super excited to see the Mitchell Family! Its almost been a year since we've seen them. Not only am I excited to celebrate Brooke and Drew's wedding but I am excited to meet Baby Scott and see Amber 7 (ish) months pregnant! Its always a fun time when we all get together.

I signed up for my first 5K in June. I am excited but nervous. Its the Color Run, they throw paint at you. I think it sounds fun. Haylie and Miranda are also going to try to do it with me, if they can get signed up. The registration is going fast.

I hope everyone is having an awesome year so far.