I posted a while back full of motivation to get off the couch, to look change in the face and do it. And I did, for about a month. I was on summer break. Justin was in school and I developed a schedule that allowed me to work out after Mr. Man went to sleep. Then I started working again, school started back up. And it all went out the window.
We have new kids in our classroom with new abilities that cause us to be on our toes all day long. At the end of the day some days, most days, I am exhausted. I LOVE these kids but finding a way to let it go at the end of the school day and not be drained all night has been difficult for me. But reality is, I am not trying. I am not trying to have a better schedule for myself. I am not trying to eat better, I am not trying to exercise. I am not trying, period.
There it is, I said it. I am not trying hard enough. I am not trying at all most days. I think about it at the end of the day and kick myself and tell myself "tomorrow I will." Then tomorrow happens and all the willpower goes out the window. Deep down I think I am scared of failing. What if I do all of this work and I get right back to where I am now? What if I fail? What am I gaining by not trying, I'm already failing my plan.
So tomorrow I return to the Endocrinologist to go over my progress. There isn't any. I can say that I've maintained where I've been at but that's not good enough. Its not even good. Its ridiculous. Here is hoping I can kick myself into gear and do something this time. Its time. I need to, I have to do it for myself. Nobody else can do it for me.
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Causes that Matter
So I've always wanted to help, help anyone and everyone I can. Thats how I ended up in a helping field. When I discovered Human Services it was like it was designed for me. I have a hard time saying no when I get asked to help and my heart truly hurts when I can't. So if I can find a way to reach out and do my little part I will make it happen.
Being the person I am and knowing that funds from my personal account are limited I search for ways I can do something. I have found myself signing up for awareness walks and such lately and I wanted to share the causes that I am helping in hopes that maybe you can find it in your heart and budget to give just a little bit to one or a few of them. Anything helps.
Lace Up- Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)
I've signed up to participate in a virtual PCOS awareness walk called Lace Up. This walk takes place the entire month of September. I love the idea of the virtual 5K because I know I can do it since its on my own time. I signed up for the PCOS walk because I have PCOS. There is no cure but it can be managed with major lifestyle changes. I'll admit I'm struggling with it but I am doing it with baby steps. For my birthday I got a fitbit and I love it. I've been able to monitor my movement among other things and realize how much or how little I am active during the day. Its been a real eye opener and how little I am active some days. Gotta get up and move! If you'd like more information please visit the following link.
PCOS Awareness 1-in-10
Out of the Darkness Walk-American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
This is another virtual walk I've signed up for. This walk is taking place on Saturday, October 4, 2014. I have known those who have taken their lives by suicide and I know many who have been affected by suicide. This is a cause that I feel just needs more attention. It shouldn't be something we are ashamed to be associated with. With our help maybe one day suicide will not be something that happens. Please visit my fundraising page. My goal is small and attainable and also has my maiden name as I dont know how to change it since I originally signed up with them before I was married.
Out of the Darkness
Autism Speaks
This is an organization that I hold near and dear to my heart as I personally work with students who have autism. I truly would love to know what "causes" autism and be able to understand it more. The world of autism is so vast and we have so much to learn still. Autism Speaks is such a wonderful organization that reaches out to so many. I would love to see a business here in Topeka that solely focuses on providing intensive services to both children and adults with autism. I have signed up for this fundraiser walk also, anything helps. This walk is on Saturday, October 11, 2014 at Arrowhead Stadium in KC from 12-3 p.m.
KC Autism Speaks Walk
Step Up for Down Syndrome-Kansas City Down Syndrome Guild
This is a walk that I've participated with for the past several years (this would be our 4th year I think) Due to my previous involvement I choose to continue helping with this organization. This organization provides services all over to families who have family members with Down Syndrome. They are a wonderful resource and I wish I lived closer to the office to be more active with them. Our first year as a walk team we raised roughly $1500 and I was blown away. Unfortunately the interest in having a team has dwindled and so I will be there as a volunteer. I'll help any way I can. The wakl is on Sunday, October, 19 from 12-4p.m. at Arrowhead Stadium. If you are interested in donating to them please visit the following link.
Step Up for Down Syndrome
Overrun Ovarian Cancer
This one also hits home for me since I have PCOS I am at a higher risk for having ovarian cancer later on. So hopefully by kicking my butt into gear and keeping up with my doctors I will never hear those words. I am also doing this because my sister-in-law recently lost her Aunt to ovarian cancer and I want to support her thru this. So we'll be there together she'll be running, I'll most likely be walking but doing it together. Doesn't matter how you cross the finish line just cross it. This 5K is on Sunday, November 2, 2014 at 8:30 a.m. in Overland Park, KC. Heres the link for the walk information.
Overrun Ovarian Cancer
By all means do not feel like I am asking you all to donate but if you feel it in your heart to give, anything helps these organizations. I thank you in advance for any donation given. In the next 2 months I'm going to be busy being active. What are you doing?
Being the person I am and knowing that funds from my personal account are limited I search for ways I can do something. I have found myself signing up for awareness walks and such lately and I wanted to share the causes that I am helping in hopes that maybe you can find it in your heart and budget to give just a little bit to one or a few of them. Anything helps.
Lace Up- Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)
I've signed up to participate in a virtual PCOS awareness walk called Lace Up. This walk takes place the entire month of September. I love the idea of the virtual 5K because I know I can do it since its on my own time. I signed up for the PCOS walk because I have PCOS. There is no cure but it can be managed with major lifestyle changes. I'll admit I'm struggling with it but I am doing it with baby steps. For my birthday I got a fitbit and I love it. I've been able to monitor my movement among other things and realize how much or how little I am active during the day. Its been a real eye opener and how little I am active some days. Gotta get up and move! If you'd like more information please visit the following link.
PCOS Awareness 1-in-10
Out of the Darkness Walk-American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
This is another virtual walk I've signed up for. This walk is taking place on Saturday, October 4, 2014. I have known those who have taken their lives by suicide and I know many who have been affected by suicide. This is a cause that I feel just needs more attention. It shouldn't be something we are ashamed to be associated with. With our help maybe one day suicide will not be something that happens. Please visit my fundraising page. My goal is small and attainable and also has my maiden name as I dont know how to change it since I originally signed up with them before I was married.
Out of the Darkness
Autism Speaks
This is an organization that I hold near and dear to my heart as I personally work with students who have autism. I truly would love to know what "causes" autism and be able to understand it more. The world of autism is so vast and we have so much to learn still. Autism Speaks is such a wonderful organization that reaches out to so many. I would love to see a business here in Topeka that solely focuses on providing intensive services to both children and adults with autism. I have signed up for this fundraiser walk also, anything helps. This walk is on Saturday, October 11, 2014 at Arrowhead Stadium in KC from 12-3 p.m.
KC Autism Speaks Walk
Step Up for Down Syndrome-Kansas City Down Syndrome Guild
This is a walk that I've participated with for the past several years (this would be our 4th year I think) Due to my previous involvement I choose to continue helping with this organization. This organization provides services all over to families who have family members with Down Syndrome. They are a wonderful resource and I wish I lived closer to the office to be more active with them. Our first year as a walk team we raised roughly $1500 and I was blown away. Unfortunately the interest in having a team has dwindled and so I will be there as a volunteer. I'll help any way I can. The wakl is on Sunday, October, 19 from 12-4p.m. at Arrowhead Stadium. If you are interested in donating to them please visit the following link.
Step Up for Down Syndrome
Overrun Ovarian Cancer
This one also hits home for me since I have PCOS I am at a higher risk for having ovarian cancer later on. So hopefully by kicking my butt into gear and keeping up with my doctors I will never hear those words. I am also doing this because my sister-in-law recently lost her Aunt to ovarian cancer and I want to support her thru this. So we'll be there together she'll be running, I'll most likely be walking but doing it together. Doesn't matter how you cross the finish line just cross it. This 5K is on Sunday, November 2, 2014 at 8:30 a.m. in Overland Park, KC. Heres the link for the walk information.
Overrun Ovarian Cancer
By all means do not feel like I am asking you all to donate but if you feel it in your heart to give, anything helps these organizations. I thank you in advance for any donation given. In the next 2 months I'm going to be busy being active. What are you doing?
Monday, July 21, 2014
Change is Hard.
I can't tell you how many times I've thought of writing this post. Today is the day, no more excuses. I've made plenty of excuses over the years and its time to stop making them.
In September of 2011 I was diagnosed with Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and pre-diabetes. At that point we were trying to get pregnant and my body was being weird so I went to the doctor. My doctor had me do some labs and that is when I was referred to an Endocrinologist and at that point I had no idea what an Endocrinologist even was. This began many more doctors appointments and new medications. All of this information was incredibly overwhelming. I bought a book to try to figure out what all of this meant and to learn about PCOS. I tried (excuse) to eat right, I tried (excuse) to exercise, I tried (excuse) to make a conscious effort to be better (excuse). The truth is I didn't try very hard at all. Then, I got pregnant. Everything I was trying (failing) to do to be healthier stopped. I stopped reading the book, I stopped thinking about PCOS and pre-diabetes. I guess because I was being monitored by my doctor for my pregnancy (excuse).
Then I fell into the life of Motherhood. I am on little man's schedule. I eat when I can during the day and then at night when I get "bored" I eat. Its easy to just sit on the couch at the end of the day because I didn't get to all day long. Its easy to eat all the junk when nobody is watching. Its easy to stay how I am and not make the effort to change because I need to. I keep telling myself that I will do it "tomorrow" that I have plenty of time to make the change. Do I? Do I have plenty of time? I don't want to miss out on life because I put it off until tomorrow. Now is the time.
The Endocrinologist has handed me all of the information I need to make changes, I just need to do it. She's given me a suggestion of calorie intake, and exercises to start with. Its already been a month and a half since I last saw her and I haven't done much of anything. Now, I am posting this to make it public (motivation) and I have no excuses but to get off the couch.
I started doing some minor exercises on my own at the beginning of July. Overall my goal to get healthy is to lose 80-90 lbs., no time frame to lose those pounds but that is the goal. I used to run 2 miles at ease, I truly did (do) love to run. I'll get back to it, I've downloaded a Couch25K app on my phone and once I get going with everything a little further I will begin that. My body is nowhere near being able to run right now (excuse? maybe but my knees can't take it right now).
So here it is. I'm putting it out there that I'm getting off the couch. I'm doing it for me, but I'm doing it for little man. Support is much appreciated. Its not going to be an easy journey but I know I can do it. One step at a time.
In September of 2011 I was diagnosed with Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and pre-diabetes. At that point we were trying to get pregnant and my body was being weird so I went to the doctor. My doctor had me do some labs and that is when I was referred to an Endocrinologist and at that point I had no idea what an Endocrinologist even was. This began many more doctors appointments and new medications. All of this information was incredibly overwhelming. I bought a book to try to figure out what all of this meant and to learn about PCOS. I tried (excuse) to eat right, I tried (excuse) to exercise, I tried (excuse) to make a conscious effort to be better (excuse). The truth is I didn't try very hard at all. Then, I got pregnant. Everything I was trying (failing) to do to be healthier stopped. I stopped reading the book, I stopped thinking about PCOS and pre-diabetes. I guess because I was being monitored by my doctor for my pregnancy (excuse).
Then I fell into the life of Motherhood. I am on little man's schedule. I eat when I can during the day and then at night when I get "bored" I eat. Its easy to just sit on the couch at the end of the day because I didn't get to all day long. Its easy to eat all the junk when nobody is watching. Its easy to stay how I am and not make the effort to change because I need to. I keep telling myself that I will do it "tomorrow" that I have plenty of time to make the change. Do I? Do I have plenty of time? I don't want to miss out on life because I put it off until tomorrow. Now is the time.
The Endocrinologist has handed me all of the information I need to make changes, I just need to do it. She's given me a suggestion of calorie intake, and exercises to start with. Its already been a month and a half since I last saw her and I haven't done much of anything. Now, I am posting this to make it public (motivation) and I have no excuses but to get off the couch.
I started doing some minor exercises on my own at the beginning of July. Overall my goal to get healthy is to lose 80-90 lbs., no time frame to lose those pounds but that is the goal. I used to run 2 miles at ease, I truly did (do) love to run. I'll get back to it, I've downloaded a Couch25K app on my phone and once I get going with everything a little further I will begin that. My body is nowhere near being able to run right now (excuse? maybe but my knees can't take it right now).
So here it is. I'm putting it out there that I'm getting off the couch. I'm doing it for me, but I'm doing it for little man. Support is much appreciated. Its not going to be an easy journey but I know I can do it. One step at a time.
Monday, June 2, 2014
The First Year
Wow, where has time gone? My last post was before we had Mr. Man. I can honestly say this past year has flown by while we rode the most awesome ride of our lives and its only just beginning. I can not imagine life without our tiny human. He is everything and so much more than we could have ever dreamed.
On Thursday, May 9, 2013 we welcomed our 7lb 3oz 21 inch long bundle into the world at 9:30 a.m. via an emergency c-section. He was turned around backwards, umbilical chord wrapped around his neck twice and we lost him on the monitor. From the time I realized I was in labor to delivery it was a total of 5 hours. It all happened so quickly we couldn't truly think about what was happening at the time and before we knew it he squealed and everyone laughed, Justin and I cried and we were parents. His journey started off rough as he spent seven nights in the NICU and those seven nights were the most stressful, scary nights that we could have imagined. However, we are beyond blessed it was only seven days compared to other NICU families journeys.
This past year has been amazing. I can't believe I have a one year old. A toddler. He's walking and talking. He's doing simple puzzles and loves books. Loves everything that can spin and the American flag (my little patriotic boy). He's my Linus baby with his red blanket. Currently his favorite animal is a pig, loves squash, and being outside. I love watching him process things and trying to do something over and over until he figures it out. He's the best thing in the world. I love his laugh and seeing him smile. He's the cutest thing in the world and I know I'm bias but as his Mommy I don't care. He's going to grow up and do amazing things, I just know it.
Parenthood = your heart living outside of your body.
On Thursday, May 9, 2013 we welcomed our 7lb 3oz 21 inch long bundle into the world at 9:30 a.m. via an emergency c-section. He was turned around backwards, umbilical chord wrapped around his neck twice and we lost him on the monitor. From the time I realized I was in labor to delivery it was a total of 5 hours. It all happened so quickly we couldn't truly think about what was happening at the time and before we knew it he squealed and everyone laughed, Justin and I cried and we were parents. His journey started off rough as he spent seven nights in the NICU and those seven nights were the most stressful, scary nights that we could have imagined. However, we are beyond blessed it was only seven days compared to other NICU families journeys.
This past year has been amazing. I can't believe I have a one year old. A toddler. He's walking and talking. He's doing simple puzzles and loves books. Loves everything that can spin and the American flag (my little patriotic boy). He's my Linus baby with his red blanket. Currently his favorite animal is a pig, loves squash, and being outside. I love watching him process things and trying to do something over and over until he figures it out. He's the best thing in the world. I love his laugh and seeing him smile. He's the cutest thing in the world and I know I'm bias but as his Mommy I don't care. He's going to grow up and do amazing things, I just know it.
Parenthood = your heart living outside of your body.
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